17 February 2011

I Can't Do Anything. Ever.

It has recently come to my attention that I cannot do anything. At all. Ever. When I do things, other bad things happen.

Example A:

One evening I went to the bathroom. When I came out, Heidi had taken a bag of onions, a bag of garlic, potatoes, and a box of tea bags off the kitchen counter. The onions and onion skins were littered between the kitchen floor and dining room carpet, the potatoes were rolling around aimlessly, the tea bags had been crumpled individually and strewn about the living room, and the garlic was just on the floor. You would think that would teach me to go to the bathroom.

Example B:

I overslept the other morning (bad, bad, bad) and went into Heidi's room to find it covered with Styrofoam. It was also in her mouth. Yum. After I corralled the two of them downstairs, fed and changed them, I dragged the vacuum cleaner upstairs to clean the mess. When I returned downstairs, I found this.

Not to mention the lovely purple color of the carpet beneath the dining room table of the town home that we RENT. At this time, I contemplated investing in straight jackets.

Example C: Heidi knows how to undo a zipper. Zippers of importance include my breast pump, my wallet and change purse, and the diaper bag. Need I say more?

Example D: Heidi can pull out the dining room chairs and climb up to sit on them. The dining room table is where I keep all of my sewing supplies. Again, need I say more?

So to those of you who have two (or more) children, you know what I'm talking about. And those of you who want, are going to, or already have your second child but it was just recent, I say good luck with that. :)


  1. Naaah, it only takes one kid to drive mommy nuts! I decided to indulge in a trip to the potty myself the other day, and when I returned, Aaryan was outside. OUTSIDE! Apparently he figured out how to unlock and open the sliding glass doors.... :-O

  2. HA! Wow...See, that's why I usually only go to the bathroom when they're in their highchairs lol. Then I know there's a limit to what they can do, even though it's not a very high limit since they can still get food on the walls and in their hair, etc. :)

  3. I agree with Kirsten! Colin has recently learned how to unlock the front door, and he's almost figured out how to turn the doorhandles. Time to invest in deadbolts for all the doors. Or maybe chamber pots.

  4. I would love to agree that only one child can drive you nuts (and I know I was at that point once), but I just can't remember! lol. It's funny that Heidi can't open doors yet...I have to leave her door open and our door open so she can join us in the morning and be my alarm clock. Maybe it's a boy/girl thing with doorknobs? haha.

  5. I feel your pain!! I can't turn my head for a second in my house haha. Since this was written back in Feb have thigns gotten better? Still no better here but my kids do span the ages of 18 months-5 and there are 4 haha.

  6. Haha Christy, I wish I could say things were better now! I do tend to have longer periods of time where they can play alone but I still find those times where I blink and 15 things happen at once!