Showing posts with label Carnival. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Carnival. Show all posts

10 January 2012

I Need a Hobby

Welcome to the January 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Experiments in Natural Family Living


This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have reported on weeklong trials to make their lives a little greener. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.


***


I need a hobby and I found one. Green living.

I couldn't decide which natural experiment to write about for this month's carnival, so I did all of them. OK, OK, not exactly *all* of them, but many more than I ever thought I would do. See, I knew several months ago that this carnival would take place and I wanted to be prepared so I brushed up on eco-friendliness. I had already been using burp rags instead of paper towels for over a year, I'd used cloth diapers for over a year, I started using cloth menstrual pads several months before and I was already making my own vegetable stock from scraps so I needed to set up my game.

I became a vegetarian on August 1, 2011, I stopped using mainstream deodorant and began using coconut oil and baking soda and I stopped using shampoo. Then I stopped using a microwave, decided to start/started walking to where I will be working and even started using handkerchiefs and *gasp* family cloth! I take short showers (not necessarily by choice), bathe less often, bathe my children less often (they also take showers)and I use reusable (and homemade) bags at the grocery store. I also shop mostly at second-hand stores for H & P and can't remember the last time I willingly bought something for myself so I'm saving a ton.


By this time, I know you're looking for the point of this post. Obviously I've engaged in multiple experiments and you want to know how I feel about all of this. Well, simply put, it's working for me. All of it. I'm addicted and cannot get enough of this 'green' stuff.

Most (heck, maybe all) of the things I mentioned in this post weren't even tiny thoughts in the back of my mind for the greater part of my life. I never thought of using cloth diapers, never thought I wouldn't use a microwave and I certainly never thought I wouldn't use toilet paper! Yet as I evolve as a mother and an individual my tastes, preferences and openness also change; what I once considered outrageous, gross or downright crazy has become second nature to me. All of the steps I have taken to live a more responsible life feel so right to me I wonder how I went so long without trying them.


I will never stop working to be a better human being. The steps I have taken thus far, experiments that turned into a way of life, are just the beginning. I have such great visions of the future, of new green experiments working fantastically to create a better life for myself and my family. I'm so pleased to have participated in this carnival topic and to have had the opportunity to try so many new things. I love change. Bring it on.

***

Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

  • Make your own moisturizer! — Megan at boho mama whips up a winter skin-friendly moisturizer.
  • Cold Water Only — Brittany at The Pistachio Project talks about how you do not need hot water to wash laundry.
  • Family Cloth... Really?? — After lots of forethought and consideration, Momma Jorje finally decides to take the plunge with family cloth.
  • Reduce, Reuse, Recycle : 5-5-5 Things A Day — Luschka from Diary of a First Child writes about decluttering her home in an attempt to create a gentler living space. She takes on a new project where she sets a goal of reducing, reusing and recycling every day.
  • Pros and cons of family cloth — Lauren at Hobo Mama would love to continue replacing paper products with family cloth … if she could only get over how damp she feels.
  • Craftily Parenting — Kellie at Our Mindful Life finds that crafting makes her a better parent.
  • Changes — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen couldn't choose just one area to experiment with, so she wrote a long post about all the fun changes initiated in her life!
  • Life without Internet: Not all it's Cracked up to Be — Adrienne at Mommying My Way tries to go a week without the Internet, only to realize a healthy dose of Internet usage really helps keep this stay-at-home mom connected.
  • My Progression to Raw Milk — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares her natural parenting progression all the way to trying raw milk.
  • mama's new little friend. — Sarah at Bitty Bird tries a menstrual cup to "green her period," and is pleasantly surprised when she falls in love with the product!
  • Before you throw it out, try homemade laundry soap! — Jennifer at Practical OH Mommy shows visual proof that homemade laundry soap is cheaper, easier, and works better than the store-bought chemicals!
  • Oil, Oil, No Toil, No Trouble — K from Very Simple Secret talks about her foray into the oil-cleansing method.
  • I Need a Hobby — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro couldn't decide which experiment to run, so she did them all.
  • 7 days of macrobiotics for a balanced family — The Stones make a [successful] attempt to release the "holiday junking" with 7 days of macrobiotic meals to balance their bodies and souls. Elisabeth at Manic Mrs. Stone includes an explanation of macrobiotics.
  • Chemical Free Beauty Challenge — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction turned to natural alternatives for her daily beauty and cleaning routine, with great results.
  • Greening my Armpits!? My Green Resolution — Shannon at The Artful Mama talks about how she decided to give up her traditional antiperspirant and make the switch over to crystal deodorants and definitely isn't looking back!
  • Going Raw (for a while) — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares her family's experience with raw food.
  • Do we get to eat gluten today? — Sheila at A Gift Universe has been trying to figure out if her son does better with or without gluten in his diet … but it's really hard to tell for sure.
  • Hippies Can Smell and Look Fabulous Too! — Arpita of Up, Down And Natural details her experience of going shampoo-free and overhauling her cosmetics to find the balance between feeling beautifully fabulous and honoring her inner hippie.
  • Our cupboards are full...but there's nothing to eat — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud takes on the challenge of chomping through the contents of her storecupboard rather than going shopping — but there's something that she just can't bring herself to do …
  • Elimination Experiment 3.0MudpieMama recounts the messy adventures of her baby daughter trying to be diaper free.
  • Family Cloth Trial — Amyables at Toddler in Tow talks about making and using family cloth wipes in the bathroom for the first time.
  • Taking a Hiatus — Amy at Peace 4 Parents shares how her experience of much less internet interaction affected her family and how it will change her approach in the future.
  • Trying Out the Menstrual Cup — Lindsey at an unschooling adventure ditches the tampons and gives menstrual cups a try.
  • Managing Food Waste in Our Home — Tired of the holiday waste, Robbie at Going Green Mama takes a weeklong focus on reducing food waste in her home, and learns some lessons that can take her through the new year.
  • Going Offline, Cloth Tissues, and Simplicity — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama muses over her time away from blogging and social networking. In addition, she shares her newfound love of cloth tissues and simplicity.

08 November 2011

Kitchen Control

Welcome to the November Carnival of Natural Parenting: Kids in the Kitchen
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how kids get involved in cooking and feeding. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.


If I haven’t mentioned it before, I’m going to tell you now: I’m a bit of a control freak. Over the years, I’ve done a fair to decent amount of work on this “problem” and I’ve allowed other people to have control in some situations where I previously wouldn’t have felt physically comfortable doing so. Needless to say, I still have a lot of work to do before I am fully comfortable allowing my children to help me in the kitchen because of this intense need to control what is going on. However, I want my children to be comfortable in the kitchen, develop a love of cooking and the skills necessary to feed themselves from as young an age as possible. In other words, I need to suck it up. (Nevertheless, Additionally, On the other hand, how many more introductory phrases can I use in this post?)

Piper eating some bread or something.

Heidi is at the point where she will frequently ask me to help while I’m cooking. She wants to stir, dump ingredients into a bowl or pot, or use whatever utensil I have in the works. Certainly, this is only natural since she is a curious, intelligent young child and I know this to be true. It does not, however, make it any easier for me to “deal with” as someone who becomes physically changed by a lack of control.

In an effort to squelch this issue, I have tried pre-measuring everything for her to dump into whatever container we’re using, but this does not help me as much as one might think. She (and Piper) still sticks her fingers into whatever she’s dumping (or sometimes an entire hand) and this makes me twitch. I can feel my muscles start to tense up and from there, it’s only a matter of time before I become short-tempered and start restricting her activity. I wish I had some way of turning this off, but too many thoughts of waste and lack float through my head about how expensive the ingredients are and how I want whatever I’m making to still turn out well. Controlling in the kitchen is a real problem.

I’m working on it, as I said. Whenever I remember, I let her dump flour or sugar into a bowl, let her stir it a little or let her dump vegetables into a pot I’m working with. I think the best thing I can do is to allow her to help a little bit at a time in order to build up my comfort level as well as her skills. I have a strong desire for both of my children to be well versed in cooking from an early age; all I need to do is let that desire overpower my need for control in the kitchen.

***

Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon November 8 with all the carnival links.)

  • Baking & letting go — Cooking with kids can be a mess. Nadia at Red White & GREEN Mom is learning to relax, be patient, and have fun with the process.
  • Family feeding in Child of Mine — Lauren at Hobo Mama reviews Ellyn Satter's suggestions for appropriate feeding and points out where her family has problems following through.
  • Children with Knives! (And other Kitchen Tools) — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy teaches her children how to safely use knives.
  • "Mommy, Can I Help?" — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes about how she lets her kiddos help out with cooking, despite her {sometimes} lack of patience!
  • Solids the Second Time Around — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes recounts her experiences introducing solids to her second child.
  • The Adventure of Toddler TastebudsThe Accidental Natural Mama shares a few things that helped her daughter develop an adventurous palate.
  • A Tradition of Love — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy looks forward to sharing the kitchen traditions passed on from her mom and has already found several ways to involve baby in the kitchen.
  • The Very Best Classroom — Alicia C. at McCrenshaw's Newest Thoughts reveals how her kitchen is more than a place to make food - it's a classroom!
  • Raising Little Chefs — Chef Mike guest posts on Natural Parents Network about how he went from a guy who couldn't cook to a chef who wanted to teach his boys to know how the food we love is made.
  • In the Kitchen with my kids — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine shares a delicious soup recipe that her kids love.
  • Papa, the Pancake Artist — Papa's making an incredible breakfast over at Our Mindful Life.
  • Kids won't eat salad? Try this one! — Tat at Mum in Search is sharing her children's favourite salad recipe.
  • Recipe For a Great Relationship — Cooking with kids is about feeding hearts as well as bellies, writes Hannah at Wild Parenting.
  • The Ritual of Mealtimes — Syenna at Gently Parenting Twins writes about the significance of mealtimes in her family’s daily rhythm.
  • Kid, Meet Food. Food, Kid. — Alburnet at What's Next? panicks about passing on her food "issues" to her offspring.
  • Growing Up in the Kitchen — Cassie at There's a Pickle in My Life shares how her son is growing up in the kitchen.
  • Harvesting Corn and History — From Kenna at School Garden Year: The kids in the school garden harvest their corn and learn how much history grows in their food.
  • My Guiding Principles for Teaching my Child about Food — Tree at Mom Grooves uses these guiding principles to give her daughter a love of good food and an understanding of nutrition as well as to empower her to make the best choices for her body.
  • Kitchen Control — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro writes about her struggles to relinquish control in the kitchen to her children.
  • Food — Emma at Your Fonder Heart lets her seven month old teach her how to feed a baby.
  • Kitchen Fun? — Adrienne at Mommying My Way questions how much fun she can have in a non-functional kitchen, while trying to remain positive about the blessings of cooking for her family.
  • Kitchen Adventures — Erica at ChildOrganics shares fun ways to connect with your kids in the kitchen.
  • Kids in the Kitchen: Finding the Right Tools — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings shares some of her favorite child-sized kitchen gadgets and where to find them.
  • The Kitchen Classroom — Laura at Authentic Parenting knows that everything your kids want to learn is at the end of the ladle.
  • Kids in the Kitchen — Luschka from Diary of a First Child talks about the role of the kitchen in family communication and shares fun kitchen activities for the under two.
  • Our Kitchen is an Unschooling Classroom. — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle explores the many ways her kitchen has become a rich environment for learning.
  • Montessori-Inspired Food Preparation for Preschoolers — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares lots of resources for using Montessori food preparation activities for young children in the kitchen.
  • My Little Healthy Eater — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares her research on what is the best first food for babies, and includes a healthy and yummy breakfast recipe.
  • Two Boys and Papa in the Kitchen: Recipe for Disaster?MudpieMama shares all about her fears, joys and discoveries when the boys and handsome hubby took over the kitchen.
  • Food choices, Food treats — Henrietta at Angel Wings and Herb Tea shares her family's relationship with food.
  • learning to eat — Catherine at learner mummy reflects on little M's first adventures with food.

11 October 2011

The Importance of Food Planning

Welcome to the October Carnival of Natural Parenting: Money Matters

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared how finances affect their parenting choices. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***


Though I feel like a hypocrite for writing this right now, I’m doing it anyway. Why do I feel this way? Read on and I will illuminate your mind.

When I started feeding the two mouths of my children “real” food on a regular basis, I also started to understand how beneficial it would be to make meal plans and a monthly food budget so as to get the most for our money. Of course, some things are always easier said than done and though I set a budget right away, I wasn’t great with the meal planning aspect. I tried my first weekly meal plan when I started my blog in January, but it didn’t make an appearance on my blog again for months.

In the beginning, I created a budget of $300 a month for food. It worked for a little while, but when I noticed just how much my children can eat when they are growing, I quickly decided that $300 was not enough. Some months I could do it, spending $302 or something close to that, but I eventually decided that I needed an extra hundred and settled on a $400 budget.

Four hundred dollars a month for food works out pretty well because it equates to $100 a week. Of course, some months are longer and it feels tight towards the end, but that is when I draw upon my pantry stash to sustain our regular eating habits. So, how do I spend that $100 a week? Let's break it down.

Fresh Veggies/Fruits: It's very important for me to have a wide variety of fresh ingredients to work with, making everything in my pantry a bit more nutritious and appetizing. Right now, I like to spend around $20 at the farmers market each week and I do my best to buy as many fresh items from other local farm stands as possible before going to the store. This includes whatever is in season, of course, but I always need to have lettuce, some sort of greens, broccoli, green beans and/or artichokes otherwise my fridge feels empty. Also, we always need apples and bananas and whatever other fruit is on sale.

Restocking: This varies every week and every month since I do not always run out of the same things at the same time, but I like to spend as much as needed each week to rebuild my stores of product. If it isn't essential that I purchase anything particular item, I'll have more money to spend in other areas, but I generally like to purchase another of the same item once I have started using it. For example, once I open a jar of salsa or peanut butter, I purchase a new one when I go to the store so I'm always sure not to run out. (What would I do if I ran out of peanut butter or salsa?)

New Ideas: On rare occasions, I try new recipes and need new ingredients that I've never used before. At other times, I've wanted to try something for a really long time and never got around to purchasing it, so I try to reserve part of the food budget for interesting finds whenever I can. This means that, whenever possible, I try to spend closer to $80 per week so I have a bit more to work with.

This sounds all peachy keen, right? Sure, especially if you plan out your meals every week or month and only take one day to do all your shopping so you save even further by not using as much gas. Yeah, once upon a time, this worked pretty well.

Before I became a vegetarian, I was really good at meal planning. Ever since I made the switch, I have been having a rough time coming up with interesting meals all week long ahead of time. Making a food formula helped me out a lot, but I still feel like I spend more at the store now than I *should.*

Yes, I am here spouting the benefits of food planning yet have fallen out of the habit of doing it myself. (Secretly, I'm hoping that all of you will virtually slap me and tell me I'm acting silly and hopefully, that will make me do it again.) I do think that the importance of food planning cannot be underestimated, especially in larger families. So I humbly ask you to set aside the fact that I have neglected my own meal planning duties, look at the value of it and see how much you can save by knowing what you want to buy before you do it. If you do it right, it is possible to live on a tight food budget while still purchasing high quality foods.

***

Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

  • Money Matter$ — Jenny at I'm a full-time mummy shares her experiences on several ways to save money as a parent.
  • A different kind of life... — Mrs Green from Little Green Blog shares her utopian life and how it differs from her current one!
  • Show Me The Money! — Arpita of Up, Down & Natural shares her experience of planning for parenting costs while also balancing the financial aspect of infertility treatments.
  • Material v Spiritual Wealth - Living a Very Frugal Life with Kids — Amy at Peace 4 Parents shares her family's realizations about the differences between material and spiritual wealth.
  • If I Had a Money Tree — Sheila at A Gift Universe lists the things she would buy for her children if money were no object.
  • Financial Sacrifices, Budgets, and the Single Income Family — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama looks at the importance of living within your means, the basics of crafting a budget, and the "real cost" of working outside of the home.
  • Overcoming My Fear of All Things Financial — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry shares how she is currently overcoming her fear of money and trying to rectify her ignorance of all things financial.
  • Confessions of a Cheapskate — Adrienne at Mommying My Way admits that her cheapskate tendencies that were present pre-motherhood only compounded post-baby.
  • Money MattersWitch Mom hates money; here's why.
  • Money? What Money?! — Alicia C. at McCrenshaw's Newest Thoughts describes how decisions she's made have resulted in little income, yet a green lifestyle for her and her family.
  • What matters. — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life might worry about spending too much money on the grocery budget, but she will not sacrifice quality to save a dollar.
  • Making Ends Meet — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares about being a working mom and natural parent.
  • Poor People, Wealthy Ways — Sylvia at MaMammalia discusses how existing on very little money allows her to set an example of how to live conscientiously and with love.
  • The Green Stuff — Amyables at Toddler In Tow shares how natural parenting has bettered her budget - and her perspective on creating and mothering.
  • Jemma's Money — Take a sneak peek at That Mama Gretchen's monthly budget and how Jemma fits into it.
  • 5 Tips for How to Save Time and Money by Eating Healthier — Family meal prep can be expensive and time-consuming without a plan! Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares five easy tips for how to make your cooking life (and budget) easier.
  • Belonging in the Countryside — Lack of money led Phoebe at Little Tinker Tales towards natural parenting, but it also hinders her from realizing her dream.
  • Total Disclosure and Total Reform — Claire at The Adventures of Lactating Girl gets down to the nitty gritty of her money problems with hopes that you all can help her get her budget under control.
  • Save Money by Using What You Have — Gaby at Tmuffin is only good with money because she's lazy, has trouble throwing things away, and is indecisive. Here are some money-saving tips that helped her manage to quit her job and save enough money to become a WAHM.
  • Two Hippos & Ten Euros: A Lesson in BudgetingMudpieMama shares all about how her boys managed a tight budget at a recent zoo outing.
  • ABBA said it — Laura from A Pug in the Kitchen ponders where her family has come from, where they are now and her hopes for her children's financial future.
  • Money vs. TimeMomma Jorje writes about cutting back on junk, bills, and then ultimately on income as well ~ to gain something of greater value: Time.
  • An Unexpected Cost of Parenting — Moorea at MamaLady shares how medical crises changed how she feels about planning for parenthood.
  • 5 Ways This Stay at Home Mom Saves Money — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares 5 self-imposed guidelines that help her spend as little money as possible.
  • Frugal Parenting — Lisa at My World Edenwild shares 8 ways she saves money and enriches her family's lives at the same time.
  • Conscious Cash Conscious — Zoie at TouchstoneZ shares her 5 money-conscious considerations that balance her family’s joy with their eco-friendly ideals.
  • Money, Sex and Having it All — Patti at Jazzy Mama explains how she's willing to give up one thing to get another. (And just for fun, she pretends to give advice on how to build capital in the bedroom.)
  • Money could buy me ... a clone? — With no local family to help out, Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama wants childcare so she can take care of her health.
  • Spending IntentionallyCatholicMommy loves to budget! Join her to learn what to buy, what not to buy, and, most importantly, where to buy.
  • New lessons from an allowance — Lauren at Hobo Mama welcomes a follow-up guest post from Sam about the latest lessons their four-year-old's learned from having his own spending money.
  • How to Homeschool without Spending a Fortune — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares tips and links to many resources for saving money while homeschooling from preschool through high school.
  • It's Not a Baby Crisis. It's Not Even a Professional Crisis. — Why paid maternity leave, you may ask? Rachael at The Variegated Life has some answers.
  • "Making" Money — Do you like to do-it-yourself? Amy at Anktangle uses her crafty skills to save her family money and live a little greener.
  • Money On My Mind — Luschka at Diary of a First Child has been thinking about money and her relationship with it, specifically how it impacts on her parenting, her parenting choices, and ultimately her lifestyle.
  • Spending, Saving, and Finding a Balance — Melissa at The New Mommy Files discusses the various choices she and her family have made that affect their finances, and finds it all to be worth it in the end.
  • Accounting for Taste — Cassie at There's a Pickle in My Life shares their budget and talks about how they decided food is the most important item to budget for.
  • Money Matters... But Not Too Much — Mamapoekie at Authentic Parenting shares how her family approaches money without putting too much of a focus onto it.
  • Parenting While Owning a Home Business — In a guest post at Natural Parents Network, Lauren at Hobo Mama lays out the pros and cons of balancing parenting with working from home.
  • Crunchy Living is SO Expensive...Or Is It? — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy talks about her biggest objection to natural living - and her surprise at what she learned.
  • Mo' Money, Mo' Problems — Sarah at Parenting God's Children shares how a financial accountability partner changed her family's finances.
  • The Importance of Food Planning — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro discusses how food budgeting and planning has helped her, even if she doesn't always do it.
  • Kids & Money: Starting an Allowance for Preschoolers — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings discusses her family's approach and experiences with starting an allowance for preschoolers.

13 September 2011

The Art of Distraction

Welcome to the September Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Through Play

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared how challenging discipline situations can be met with play. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***


Having children spaced 15 months apart has taught me a number of things, not the least of which is how important distraction can be. Instead of yelling, screaming or harshly disciplining my children in the midst of a brawl I offer a diversion for one or both of them. Not only does this work during a disagreement between them, but it also helps in other situations where patience may be hard to come by. Here is a list of ways that I distract my children playfully and the situations best suited to each technique.

Toys: Of course, this one is fairly easy. Many tears are shed over the lack of sharing of a toy and I am often called in as reinforcement. Depending on the situation, I may determine that one child or the other is going to take a turn to play with the toy, leaving the other child wanting for something. If it’s Piper, I usually look for the closest interesting thing be it another toy or a book and I will engage her in play with it in a way she is not necessarily used to. At other times, I will hold her and take her with me as I finish whatever I’m doing and she will usually forget about whatever problem she was experiencing.

If it’s Heidi, I will go through some elaborate questioning to determine what aspect of the toy she was most interested in and what other toy I can find for her that will meet that need. Within a matter of moments of actual conversation, I can usually change her mood completely. If I don’t find a toy that she is interested in, I’ll run through a long list of whatever items I can think of, making them sillier as I go on. That’s a sure fire way to bring a smile.

Actions: In some cases, I can distract Heidi by asking her to show Piper how to do something, rather than, say, dumping a bucket of water over her head. Alternatively, I can ask her to jump up and down, run in a circle, or perform some other action that physically changes whatever she was previously doing. Short of physically removing her from a situation, this is often the best way to help her modify her behavior while still allowing her to output all the intense energy she has. Thus, I like to do this when she is engaging in some sort of physical action that is less than pleasurable for another person (usually Piper) as it is often the fastest way to change.

“Hey, look at that!”: This is probably the best distracter of them all, one that has been used for eons in every situation imaginable. I was recently blessed by having my husband’s cats return to our residence after a nine month hiatus at my father-in-law’s house and have since used every opportunity that you can think of to say, “Hey, look! There’s Hagen!” or “Where’s Ccino?” So far, I have had about a 100% success rate with this method whereas saying “Look at the clouds!” or “Look at the train!” is not always fool-proof. At least these particular animals are good for something.

Singing: When all else fails, sing. For real. I find this to be most effective in the car, but it also helps at very odd times like in the bathtub, downtime during the day and waiting in the doctor’s office/waiting room. Singing is actually the only way I was able to make the last 20 minutes of my recent trips home in peace because Piper had finally had enough of sitting in the car and refused to go unnoticed any longer. I sang ‘Twinkle, Twinkle’ at least 10 times in a row (because if I stopped, she immediately started crying again) and all was right with the world. I have also made up a song for each of them that I will often revert to when I cannot think of anything else to sing, but that doesn’t always work very well. I’m working on adding more variety to my repertoire.

In most cases where behavior is ill-timed or unwelcome from a child, taking a different perspective is all one really needs to do in order to change it. Getting a little creative with parenting does require more work than simply reacting to a situation, but the results are clear: your children will be happier. If you can use the art of distraction just a few times each day instead of the automatic yell or stern tone, you’ll notice it really isn’t difficult at all and it will be second nature in no time. Go ahead, distract away.

***

Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

  • On being a more playful parent — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine shares how the Playful Parenting book impacted her.
  • Parenting a toddler through play — Alicia at I Found My Feet lists some examples of how she uses play to parent through everyday tasks and challenges.
  • Splashing in Puddles — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares how she learned to get dirty and have fun with her little boy.
  • Say Please — Cassie at There's a Pickle in My Life explains how they taught their son manners by "play," showing that actions speak louder than words.
  • No Nanny Needed — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life wishes parenting through play was her only responsibility during the day.
  • I'll Run Away With Gypsies — Nikalee at Spotted Pandemonium maneuvers physical and emotional obstacles while spinning playful tales, jumping through hoops, and inspiring the kids to clean the living room.
  • A Promise To My Daughter — Lindsey at An Unschooling Adventure writes a poem for her daughter promising to use play instead of anger when facing difficult situations.
  • Parenting Through Play — Not Always Easy But Always Rewarding — Amy at Peace4Parents discusses how play hasn't always come easily to her, the power of appreciative observation, and how her family learns together through play.
  • Imagination Plays a Role in Our Parenting — Tree at Mom Grooves shares how parents can use play to set the foundation for communication and understanding.
  • A Box of Crayons — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction talks about how a simple box of crayons has become a wonderful parenting and teaching tool.
  • The Essential Art of Play — Ana at Pandamoly shares some of her favorite lessons available for young ones through play.
  • The Art of Distraction — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro shares a list of distracting alternatives to harsh punishments in tough parenting situations.
  • Grace and Courtesy Games at Home or School — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now has ideas for grace and courtesy games that help you encourage courteous behavior without reprimanding your child.
  • I am woman, hear me roar! — Mrs Green from Little Green Blog shares how one simple sound can diffuse an argument in an instant.
  • Getting Cooperation Through Play — Amyables at Toddler In Tow talks about respecting the worldview of a preschooler by using play to encourage connection and cooperation.
  • Playful Parenting = Extra Energy??Momma Jorje didn't think she had the energy for playful parenting. See what she was surprised to learn…
  • Dance Party Parenting — Laura from A Pug in the Kitchen learned how to be the parent her children need through play.
  • Wrestling Saved My Life — Wrestling is as vital to her son's well-being as babywearing once was, finds Hannah at Wild Parenting.
  • Parenting through play — By playing with her children, Tara from MUMmedia is given amazing opportunites to teach, train and equip her children for life.
  • Parenting Through Play Starts in Infancy — In a guest post at Natural Parents Network, Issa from LoveLiveGrow shares that though she only has a 3-month-old, playful parenting has already started.
  • Play Before Sleep — Adrienne at Mommying My Way writes about how playing and singing with her son before he falls asleep helps calm her frustrations that tend to arise at night.

12 July 2011

Who They Will Be

Welcome to the July Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Philosophy

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared their parenting practices and how they fit in with their parenting purpose. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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It wasn’t until I read the topic for this month’s Carnival of Natural Parenting that I began to think about the qualities I hope my children possess as adults. I try to remain focused on the present as much as possible, to be in this moment at all times, but just this once it might be fun to visualize my adult children and how wonderful they will be. This list serves two purposes: it will show myself and all of you what my most cherished values are as well as help me keep my own behavior in check so I know if I am properly teaching these qualities to my children.

1. Empathy: In my earliest memories, I remember feeling empathy for others: friends, my mother, animals and the planet. It has remained one of the qualities I cherish most in myself and others, which is why it’s at the top of my list. I even used empathy as part of a research study I completed as an undergraduate. It is this quality that I try to emphasize over all others in my children because I think it paves the way for everything else. As adults, I would like to see my children practicing empathy with everyone they meet and have relationships with.

2. Gratitude: It’s no secret that I believe gratitude is important and there isn’t a moment that goes by during the day when I do not say ‘thank you’ to one of my children for whatever they are doing. It is literally at the end of nearly every sentence I speak to them and most other people I come in contact with. When you approach a person or situation from a state of gratitude, like love, you acknowledge and validate the individual or experience as having value and purpose.

3. Respect: I never want my children to feel as though they are not respected. On the same token, I also do not ever want to be the brunt of disrespect from them. In my own life, though I may have had many disagreements with my mother, I have never spoken poorly to her nor about her behind her back. Yes, sometimes things she says or does may annoy me, but I refrain from making nasty comments because it is not in me to speak ill of her. She is my mother and that position demands the utmost respect. In the same manner, I hope to inspire these feelings within my children so that I am not only respected by them, but they also respect themselves, others and our planet.

4. Responsibility: Although I mean it in every sense of the word, in this instance I am greatly referring to responsibility for our planet and all things that go along with that. They will grow up using cloth rags for cleaning and when they start menstruating, I will purchase each of them cloth pads in their choice of fabrics. When the time comes, I hope that they will also choose to cloth diaper their children, grow gardens to feed their families and choose the more ecologically responsible option whenever possible. I hope to inspire them to feel responsible for the Earth and to treat every inch of it as if it were the structures they reside in. It is home.

5. Compassion: True, honest compassion is often very hard to come by. People look upon one another with disdain and assume the worst in most cases without ever considering the events or circumstances that led up to the present. I always want them to respond to situations and people from a state of love and compassion, just as I strive to respond to them from the same state every moment of every day. While it may not always be possible, I hope that they will grow up knowing this as the standard for living and make every attempt to retain this practice their entire lives.

While this list is not entirely comprehensive of every quality I hope to instill in my children, it does get across the major points of my parenting philosophy. Without knowing it, I decided I would parent this way a long time before I had children, never knowing it was actually considered ‘attachment parenting.’ I believe in this way of behaving towards my children because it feels right to me and I cannot imagine going about this journey in any other manner. I look forward to the adults my children will become, knowing that the groundwork I lay here and now will not only benefit them and myself but everyone who chooses to walk in and out of their lives.

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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

  • Between Love and Fear: On Raising our Children Sensibly — Mamma Earthly at Give an Earthly discusses the fear factor in parenting and how she overcame it, despite societal pressures.
  • really, when do i get my cape? — Sarah at small bird on fire is a working city mama trying to learn how to set aside her expectations of perfection and embrace the reality of modern parenting.
  • Baby, Infant, and Toddler Wearing — Child wearing is part of Sarah at Nourished and Nurtured's parenting philosophy. In this post, Sarah describes benefits of child-wearing and gives tips for wearing babies, infants, and toddlers (even while pregnant).
  • First Year Reflections — As her daughter's first birthday approaches, Holly at First Year Reflections reflects on how she and her husband settled into attachment parenting after initially doing what they thought everyone else did.
  • Making an allowance — Lauren at Hobo Mama welcomes a guest post from Sam about the unexpected lessons giving a four-year-old an allowance teaches the child — and the parent.
  • How to be a Lazy Parent and Still Raise Great Kids — Lisa at Granola Catholic talks about how being a Lazy Parent has helped her to raise Great Kids.
  • Philosophy in Practice — Laura at A Pug in the Kitchen shares how her heart shaped the parenting philosophy in her home.
  • What is Attachment Parenting Anyway? — Gaby at Tmuffin describes the challenges of putting a label on her parenting philosophy.
  • Of Parenting Styles — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom talks about how she and her husband tailored various parenting styles to fit their own preferred parenting philosophy.
  • Moment by Moment Parenting — Amy at Peace 4 Parents encourages those who care for children (including herself) to explore and appreciate parenting moment-by-moment with clarity, intention, trust, and action.
  • Maintaining Spirituality in the Midst of Everyday Parenting, Marriage, and Life — Sarah at Nourished and Nurtured shares her perspective on finding opportunities for spiritual growth in every day life.
  • Parenting Philosophy — Lily, aka Witch Mom's parenting philosophy is to raise child(ren) to be compassionate, loving, inquisitive, and questioning adults who can be trusted to make decisions for themselves in a way that avoids harming others.
  • Long Term — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis thinks about who she would like to see her daughter become — and what she can do now to lay a strong foundation for those hopes.
  • Connection, Communication, Compassion — She's come a long way, baby! After dropping her career in favour of motherhood, Patti at Jazzy Mama discovered that building solid relationships was going to be her only parenting priority.
  • My Parenting Inspirations - Part 4 — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama looks at her biggest parenting inspiration and how that translates into her long-term parenting philosophy.
  • A Parenting Philosophy in One Word: Respect — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction summarizes her parenting and relationship philosophy in one word: respect.
  • Knowledge and Instinct — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment believes that knowledge and instinct are super important … as are love, encouragement and respect. It's the ideal combo needed to raise happy and healthy children and in turn create meaningful relationships with them.
  • THRIVE!The Sparkle Mama wants to set a tone of confidence, abundance, and happiness in her home that will be the foundation for the rest of her daughter's life.
  • On Children — "Your children are not your children," say Kahlil Gibran and Hannah at Wild Parenting.
  • This One Life Together — Ariadne aka Mudpiemama shares her philosophy of parenting: living fully in the here and now and building the foundation for a happy and healthy life.
  • Enjoying life and planning for a bright future — Olivia at Write About Birth shares her most important parenting dilemmas and pours out her heart about past trauma and how healing made her a better parent.
  • My Parenting Philosophy: Unconditional and Natural Love — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares what she has learned about her parenting philosophy from a year of following her instincts as a mama.
  • An open letter to my children — Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine writes an open letter to her children.
  • My Starter Kit for Unconditional Parenting — Sylvia at MaMammalia discusses her wish to raise a good person and summarizes some of the nontraditional practices she's using with her toddler son in order to fulfill that wish.
  • Responsiveness — Sheila at A Gift Universe has many philosophies and goals, but what it all boils down to is responsiveness: listening to what her son wants and providing what he needs.
  • Tools for Creating Your Parenting Philosophy — Have you ever really thought about your parenting purpose? Knowing your long-term goals can help you parent with more intent in your daily interactions. Dionna at Code Name: Mama offers exercises and ideas to help you create your own parenting philosophy.
  • Be a Daisy — Becky at Old New Legacy philosophizes about individuality and how she thinks it's important for her daughter's growth.
  • What's a Mama to Do? — Amyables at Toddler in Tow hopes that her dedication to compassionate parenting will keep her children from becoming too self-critical as adults.
  • grown-up anxieties. — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life explains her lone worry concerning her babies growing up.
  • Why I Used Montessori Principles in My Parenting Philosophy — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells why she chose Montessori principles to help her now-adult children develop qualities she wanted to see in them as children and adults.
  • Parenting Philosophies & Planning for the FutureMomma Jorje considers that the future is maybe just a fringe benefit of doing what feels right now.
  • Not Just Getting Through — Rachael at The Variegated Life asks what truths she hopes to express even in the most commonplace interactions with her son.
  • Parenting Philosophy? Eh... — Ana at Pandamoly shares the philosophy (or lack thereof) being employed to (hopefully) raise a respectful, loving, and responsible child.
  • Parenting Philosophy: Being Present — Shannon at The Artful Mama discusses the changes her family has made to accommodate their parenting philosophy and to reflect their ideals as working parents.
  • Who They Will Be — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro shares a short list of some qualities she hopes she is instilling in her children at this very moment.
  • Short Term vs. Long Term — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes recounts how long term parenting goals often get lost in the details of everyday life with two kids.
  • Parenting Philosophy: Practicing and Nurturing Peace — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle sets personal goals for developing greater peace.
  • Yama Niyama & the Red Pajama Mama — Part 1: The Yamas — In part 1 of a set of posts by Zoie at TouchstoneZ, Zoie guest posts at Natural Parents Network about how the Yoga Sutras provide a framework for her parenting philosophy.
  • Yama Niyama & the Red Pajama Mama — Part 2: The Niyamas — In part 2 of a set of posts by Zoie at TouchstoneZ, Zoie explores how the Niyamas (one of the eight limbs in traditional Yoga) help her maintain her parenting and life focus.
  • Our Sample Parenting Plan — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey shares hopes of who her children will become and parenting strategies she employs to get them there.
  • Philosophical Parenting: Letting Go — Jona at Life, Intertwined ponders the notion that there's no right answer when it comes to parenting.
  • Unphilosophizing? — jessica at instead of institutions wonders about the usefulness of navel gazing.
  • Parenting Sensitively — Amy at Anktangle uses her sensitivity to mother her child in ways that both nurture and affirm.
  • how to nurture your relationships — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog believes that sometimes all kids need is a jolly good listening to …
  • Philosophy Of An Unnatural Parent — Dr. Sarah at Good Enough Mum sees parenting as a process of guiding her children to develop the skills they'll need.
  • Life with a Challenging Kid: Hidden Blessings — Wendy at High Needs Attachment shares the challenges and joys of raising a high needs child.
  • Flying by the Seat of My Pants — Heather at Very Nearly Hippy has realized that she has no idea what she's doing.