I've been making a conscious effort for quite some time now to stop using the word 'no' every time I don't want Heidi to do something. Mind you, this is an incredibly difficult pattern to break and I am far from achieving my desired state, but I do believe I've made progress. How do I know? Because I have seen a marked improvement in Heidi's behavior recently.
I've been taking to heart a lot of the status updates and quotes of certain pages on Facebook like TEACH through love and Positive Parenting and I truly believe this has made a difference. Mind you, Heidi is not, has not and never will be an 'unruly' child or anything like that. She is just a typically rambunctious, curious toddler, doing everything a 'normal' toddler should. Obviously, she has a lot of behaviours that are less than desirable, but rather than jumping to the reflex of 'NO!' I have started to reform my words to use things like 'Please don't do that,' 'That's not a good thing to do,' 'I'd rather you didn't do that,' etc. etc. I still use 'No' on occasion because it is, unfortunately, a very easy word to say. And usually, when I use the word 'no,' the response I get from her is an extremely negative one that often involves hitting me (as hard as a 2-year-old can hit when not trying to hurt).
Anyway, though we still have some snags with putting her toys away at the end of the day, she generally does it without question, even happily. She says 'thank you' almost all the time (still working on saying 'please' all the time) and she's very into giving hugs :). She loves to hug Piper too, though Piper is not usually a fan of these since she is often in a compromising position. Overall though, the atmosphere in my house feels different, happier and better, since I changed my attitude towards Heidi and I'm very glad I did! I only see it getting better as time goes on.