29 March 2012

Stress

I was mean tonight.

I was mean tonight when I yelled,
"Enough is enough!" and
slammed the cupboard door.

I was mean tonight because
the garbage bag pulling and
the 2+ consecutive hours of whining and
the I-can-only-sit-in-your-chair and
the I-can-only-eat-your-food and
the I-only-want-to-drink-your-water and
the I-need-to-touch-every-dirty-thing-sticking-out-of-the-sink and
the I'm-too-tired-to-pick-up-my-toys and
the I-would-rather-bash-my-face-into-a-doorknob-than-let-you-brush-my-teeth
finally got to me.

I was mean when
I sent them out of the kitchen because
yet another glass of water
was purposely spilled on the floor.

And I was mean when I said
"I can't even talk to you right now!"
because I needed a moment to calm down.

I was mean tonight
but instead of being hard on myself,

I said:

"You need a break."




Yes, I was mean tonight.

And now tonight is over.

10 comments:

  1. I can totally relate. Chris even arranged for some of our friends to take the girls on Sunday while he is away so I can have a day to myself because the kids have been ROUGH lately.

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    Replies
    1. That is FANTASTIC Terri! I'm so glad you're going to have time to yourself. You deserve it!

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  2. SO timely for me today. I didn't even have the specific list that you do, but when my daughter kicked her ball in the house and I thought it had finally really broken something, I yelled her name so loudly. She did that freeze thing and I knew it had gone right to her nervous system and she wanted to cry. I scared her. I hated that I did that. But I dropped what I was doing and just held her and said I was sorry for yelling. She wouldn't have wanted to talk about how she felt scared. She just held on to me for a few minutes. Then she asked me to make sure to tell her grandmommy what had happened...
    I love that you decided not to be hard on yourself. That wouldn't have helped anyone.
    You having a break helps everyone.
    I'm so glad you shared this today.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, thank you. You're a *better* mother than I since most times when I yell, I do not apologize. It's a stupid ego thing. Even though I want to, I find it really, really hard to say 'I'm sorry.'

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  3. You're so wise, Amanda. What a great gift you're giving yourself of acceptance and forgiveness. <3

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  4. I agree with Amy! I have been feeling mean a lot lately. Perhaps I should give myself a break? xoxo

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    Replies
    1. Yes you should! My break is getting away for the weekend (with them of course) but I just needed to get away from what I see every day, I think.

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  5. I just love it when you wax poetic. I need to read stuff like this on those bad days. Like today. And yesterday. And the day before that. And so on.

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