29 March 2012


I was mean tonight.

I was mean tonight when I yelled,
"Enough is enough!" and
slammed the cupboard door.

I was mean tonight because
the garbage bag pulling and
the 2+ consecutive hours of whining and
the I-can-only-sit-in-your-chair and
the I-can-only-eat-your-food and
the I-only-want-to-drink-your-water and
the I-need-to-touch-every-dirty-thing-sticking-out-of-the-sink and
the I'm-too-tired-to-pick-up-my-toys and
the I-would-rather-bash-my-face-into-a-doorknob-than-let-you-brush-my-teeth
finally got to me.

I was mean when
I sent them out of the kitchen because
yet another glass of water
was purposely spilled on the floor.

And I was mean when I said
"I can't even talk to you right now!"
because I needed a moment to calm down.

I was mean tonight
but instead of being hard on myself,

I said:

"You need a break."

Yes, I was mean tonight.

And now tonight is over.


  1. I can totally relate. Chris even arranged for some of our friends to take the girls on Sunday while he is away so I can have a day to myself because the kids have been ROUGH lately.

    1. That is FANTASTIC Terri! I'm so glad you're going to have time to yourself. You deserve it!

  2. SO timely for me today. I didn't even have the specific list that you do, but when my daughter kicked her ball in the house and I thought it had finally really broken something, I yelled her name so loudly. She did that freeze thing and I knew it had gone right to her nervous system and she wanted to cry. I scared her. I hated that I did that. But I dropped what I was doing and just held her and said I was sorry for yelling. She wouldn't have wanted to talk about how she felt scared. She just held on to me for a few minutes. Then she asked me to make sure to tell her grandmommy what had happened...
    I love that you decided not to be hard on yourself. That wouldn't have helped anyone.
    You having a break helps everyone.
    I'm so glad you shared this today.

    1. Thank you, thank you. You're a *better* mother than I since most times when I yell, I do not apologize. It's a stupid ego thing. Even though I want to, I find it really, really hard to say 'I'm sorry.'

  3. You're so wise, Amanda. What a great gift you're giving yourself of acceptance and forgiveness. <3

  4. I agree with Amy! I have been feeling mean a lot lately. Perhaps I should give myself a break? xoxo

    1. Yes you should! My break is getting away for the weekend (with them of course) but I just needed to get away from what I see every day, I think.

  5. I just love it when you wax poetic. I need to read stuff like this on those bad days. Like today. And yesterday. And the day before that. And so on.